(2/4/99)

to: Dragonfly (Silver4128@aol.com) 
Subject: Re: Silvaria pt. 1

 |sf>Ok, I've got my split screen all set up.  "it is a
human interaction."  Understandable.  Beginings have to
start somewhere & if that "somewhere" doesn't involve
TFs at first, that's your choice.  "It doesn't take place
in any particular time period (IE. the movie, the show, etc.)"
Hmmm, well, it looks like I won't have to guess whether this
is the cartoon or comic universe.  :)  "please don't be
too harsh!"  I'm only commenting as I read.  "I modeled
Silvaria after the person who I want to be, in my dreams :) "
I can understand.  

        "and the girl emerged from under them"  Well, it
looks like we've got a female human as a major character 
(They pop up in Fanfics from time to time.)  I wonder what
year this is (Oops, I'm doing it again. ;) ).  
        "brushed her short, boy-cut, hair, and put on her
clothes."  Well, this alone explains a bit about her--she
doesn't want to mess w/ either long hair or perms.  She
likes to just hurry up & get everything over w/.  Although
I have long hair, I do the *same* thing.  >:)
        "She was a junior in high school"  Ok, at this
point, it sounds like this is leading up to an application 
in Headmaster collection.  >:)  "she didn't feel the need."
That's *another* thing that I used to have in common w/
this girl.  >:)  "One, she had silver eyes"  A couple of
weeks ago I saw someone at the mall who had the same
condition.  It's very unusual.  
        "'Mom, why didn't you tell me it was Saturday?!'"
Why?  Did she miss one of her favorite TV shows or
something?
        "'We will attack here and take the energy"  
Obviously this is a 'con speaking.  It's probably the
cartoon continuity & probably either Megatron or Starscream
talking.  ;)  "this time they were going after a Mechanical
Engineering Plant."  Yup.  
        "She saw the group that she was supposed to be with
up ahead and quickly but quietly joined in"  Is this a 
field trip or a guided tour?  "she could usally talk her
way out of a situation."  She shares that trait w/ Swindle
then.  :)  "'Try to be on time next week'."  Ah, so this
is a weekly affair & chances are, this was the 1st week.
        "a big red and blue robot said."  Obviously OP.
"this one was red" Probably Ironhide.  "red and orange"
Scratch that.  Then it's Hot Rod.  "a small yellow 'bot
came running"  Bumblebee.
        "'Opti - mphf'" >:)  Looks like someone got sick
of him or something.  "He was happy it wasn't Blur who had
come to tell him this."  True.  >:)  
        "'Thats just Prime."  Huh?  That's Primal's catch
phrase, not OP's.  *shrug* Oh well.  "'**(please double-click  
on the icon to hear the cool transforming sound)**"  Well,
that doesn't translate when converting the file into MSWorks
mode.  It might work for HTML.  
        "Silvaria was bored"  Then I'm guessing that this
wasn't a voluntary class?  "She loved dragons, they were one
of her obssessions."  Translation:  she'll probably become
the Headmaster partner for an Autobot dragon.  ;)  
        "Dr. Reignheart seemed to be out cold"  Oh well, at
least he won't be picking on her anymore.  ;)  "'Everyone
go out the fire escape!  Quickly!'"  Wait a minute--at one 
point, they were looking up at the sky to see the 'cons &
now they're taking the fire escape?  Were they on the roof
of the building?  Or were they looking out the window?  "luckily
the ground wasn't far away."  Ok, then they must have been on
the first floor.
        "End of Part One"  Ok.  There were a few spelling errors
& that last bit was confusing, but other than that, it was an
interesting start.