Article 23661 of alt.toys.transformers: Path: madeline.INS.CWRU.Edu!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!pravda.aa.msen.com!cssun.mathcs.emory.edu!swrinde!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in1.uu.net!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: thenixtr@aol.com (The Nixtr) Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers Subject: FANFIC: Nightnerd, Part 4 Date: 17 Nov 1995 07:55:09 -0500 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 184 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <48i0nd$4gu@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: thenixtr@aol.com (The Nixtr) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Part 4. Deafwave monitored the monitors. (I guess that's what you're supposed to do with them.) From his control room he had contact with the most remote, unlivable locations on Earth, even Los Angeles. Megaschlong stormed into the room. "Any news, Deafwave?" "Only CNN, but they keep showing the same thing every half hour." "So what? There's a movie theater down south that shows Gone With the Wind continuously." "Anyway, I've triangulated Nightnerd's location to one of four specific locations. There is an artifact buried by flesh creatures in each. One of the artifacts should be Nightnerd." "Well, when will the Stunticrums report?" "Any breem now." Then a series of high-pitched beeps emitted from the control panel. "Ah, I got a report from Split End in Antarctica." The monitor lit up with the white of the ice-covered ground. "This is Split End in Antarctica. I've found something buried here, and used my exhaust ports to defrost it. I've been working all night here, and since one night below the Tropic of Capricorn is six months, I'm, well... exhausted!" "So, what did you find?" questioned Megaschlong. "It's not the Nightnerd. Just some Jell-o. See for yourself." Split End pointed behind himself to indicate the immense red mass of gelatinous material in the background, offsetting the whiteness of the landscape. "No, you moron! What you've uncovered was the Blob! You have to get away from that thing, or it will consume you like Tornitron!" "Hey, don't sweat it, Meggy. I can outfly that thing in my turbo- charged paper airplane mode before..." Split End's words were gagged as the Blob slowly engulfed him, gripping its mass around him so tight as to prevent any possibility of escape. "Mmmmmmmmmph!" Deafwave and Megaschlong stared in horror at the monitors. Then Deafwave shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it could have been worse." "How so?" snapped Megaschlong. "I lied. I just tried to ease the tension." Within moments the lights on the control panel flashed and the sensors started to beep again. "Hold on. I'm receiving a signal from Tokyo. It must be the Nightnerd, since Dr. Fujiyummi lives there. "This is Mildrider, in Tokyo Harbor. We've uncovered something here, but couldn't penetrate its shell. It seems Dr. Fujiyummi really didn't want us to get to Nightnerd." "Well, can you get through?" "I've run some tests. I just finished exposing it to radiation, but I don't think..." Mildrider paused to see that his find began to stir. "Hey, it's alive!" Megaschlong was shocked to see the being behind Mildrider. "That's Godzilla, you idiot! Your radiation has awakened him! Get away from there immediately!" "Don't worry; I'll change into a go-kart and he won't recognize me as some enemy." With that Mildrider DEFORMED into his alternate mode, the aforementioned go-kart. OH OH AH AH EE! Unbeknownst to Mildrider, one of Godzilla's favorite leisurely activities was stomping on cars. Having noticed that Mildrider was the only vehicle around, Godzilla made it his first target. The force of Godzilla's foot DEFORMED Mildrider permanently. "Well, I guess we can rule out forming the Stunticrums into Minisore in the future," suggested Deafwave. "Quit trying to ease the tension," snarled Megaschlong. Just then, the control panel's lights began to flash again, but we knew that was going to happen. After all, this pattern should be pretty obvious to most readers by now. The monitor revealed a long shot of Nervous Breakdown, standing in the center of a football field. "Nervous Breakdown reporting from Giants' Stadium, Megaschlong." Megaschlong responded, "I know you're in a giant stadium. Get to the point." "All right, but before that, I've been wondering something ever since this search began. Whenever we transmit to you at Decepticrum Headquarters, What are we talking into? I mean do you have video cameras installed the world over where we can just turn to and appear on your screens or what?" Megaschlong thought hard on that one. "Razorbeak must be around there." "Razorbeak is inside my chest," said Deafwave. "Enough of this babble!" roared Megaschlong to the rambling Decepticrums. Now I said get to the point, or I'll deactivate you!" "How can you when you're over there and I'm right here?" "For the last time, did you find anything, Nervous Breakdown?!" Megaschlong yelled, about to have a nervous breakdown of his own. "Yes, I did. After digging about six feet I found an artifact coated with cement, but to my recollection, it's not what Nightnerd looked like." "Well, your memory is not one of your stronger assets." "I beg to differ. My intelligence is a seven if you read my Tech Specs." "Well, if you can't recognize what you found, put it on the monitor so that I can take a look." "Roger Dodger." Nervous Breakdown placed his discovery in front of him. From the waist down it was still coated in cement, but its well-preserved face was exposed, though the expression on it was not one of joy. Megaschlong easily identified it. "That's not Nightnerd. That's Jimmy Hoffa. You have to get away from that stadium immediately." "Hey, there's nothing to worry about. This flesh creature appears to be inert..." Just as he uttered those words Nervous Breakdown became overrun by masses of union workers, who had come to worship what they thought was a statue of Jimmy Hoffa. They may have been small, but there were so many of them. "Megaschlong, help meeee!" he yelled as he was trampled. "How can I when I'm right here and you're over there?" Time passes. "So, do you think Drag Stick and Motormouthmaster will ever respond?" Megaschlong asked impatiently. "I don't know," responded Deafwave. "We've been waiting four hours. You contact them and see what has gone wrong." Deafwave twisted a lot of knobs and controls. Heck, he twisted all of them! The monitor flicked from a blank screen to a three-quarter view of Motormouthmaster, smoking a cigarette. "Motormouthmaster! What are you doing?" hollered Megaschlong. "Taking a break. We found the Nightnerd, about four hours ago." "Then why didn't you report to me?" "I was waiting for you to report to us." "You were supposed to report to me." "Okay, I'll do it now to make you happy. Motormouthmaster reporting from Washington, DC." Motormouthmaster's cigarette springed from his hand and DEFORMED. EE EE AH AH OH! "Dragstick reporting!" "You fail to humor me," Megaschlong said. "So where did you find her, anyway?" Motormouthmaster responded, "In the basement of the building we're in now. I don't know its name but it's shaped like a pentagon." "The Pentagon, perhaps?" "Nah, too obvious." "Well, what are you waiting for? Bring her back immediately. This story's two-thirds over already and she hasn't even appeared yet!" Motormouthmaster carried Nightnerd off-screen, and Drag Stick Immediately resumed Motormouthmaster's position. "Motormouthmaster is returning her to base with Nightnerd as I speak, commander. I will join him in a minute." "Why?" asked Megaschlong. "Is he coming apart?" "No. It's just that I've noticed a crate next to the one we found Nightnerd in. Maybe I can find a weapon inside to defeat the Autoblots." Walking to the crate, Drag Stick gets ready to open it. "It's this crate, with the markings that read 'Lost Ark of the Covenant.' Hm. I wonder what's inside." He opens the crate and peers in. "No, don't open that, you imbecile!", shrieked Megaschlong. It was too late. "Shut the monitors, Deafwave! Now!" Deafwave turned the monitors off just before witnessing the spirits from the crate melting Drag Stick's body to a pool of base metal. The Nixtr @ AOL.com